I hate that I understand this. I love that you now know your worth is not dependent on anyone’s assessments of you. These type people genuinely believe they’re good. They rewrite every story, dodge every consequence, and carry zero accountability. In their minds, they’ve never hurt anyone and somehow everyone else is to blame. It’s delusion at it’s finest. We can’t understand it because we are not them. I, for one, am grateful that I’ve never understood the Clarks and Spokespersons in my family bc I feel like to fully understand them, I’d have to be like them-if even in a small way. I’ll choose peace over understanding any day.
I’m sorry you’ve been taken down a path no daughter would choose. You do have a voice and it matters. What was done to you was not your fault but what you do with it is your choice.
Keep writing your ending. I believe it’s gonna be a happy one.❣️
They taught me something. You’ll hear both proclaiming to be a good guy, reminding everyone they’re a nice guy.
With some age, I realized that good guys don’t have to convince you or remind you by telling you. They’re just good and do good things, take accountability when they mess up and try to do better.
When I hear a male voice say, “Look, I’m a good guy,” you’ll find me halfway down the street. 🚩
Man, they may have had you in mind when they coined the phrase, "The pen is mightier than the sword." Well said, Mere. You don't need me to tell you how insightful and engaging your writing is, but I WILL say that the "taboo" subject matter you write about is so needed. So many of us were taught not to talk about ANYTHING. Look where it's gotten us.
And as a parent (which apparently makes me an expert), I (me, myself) carry the burden of the relationship with my kids. That's just how it is. After all, they learned how to HAVE a relationship from their parents. So if the relationship sucks, and I want to cast blame, I need to be looking in the mirror. And so should Clark. So glad that you and your mom have done the hard work to have a relationship as adults. It makes me happy.
P.S. Don't even get me started on the term "DIFFICULT." I want to go back and give little Meredith a big hug and tell her that she was just right.
I’m glad you were able to provide expert opinion here. Whew. 😅
I thought by now we could agree that no child should be pulled or thrown… at all, including into walls and down the stairs. But no. I often “forced their hand as parents” with my difficult behavior. Like sleep training, having emotions, and not wanting to go to my brother’s 127 baseball games every summer.
A few years ago, the clone said I deserved everything I got for having “too many emotional needs as a kid.” I called Clark then and told him he needed to correct that line of thinking. We can’t change what happened, but we can change what happens to the next generation.
But I was assured that should Spokesperson’s offspring behave the way I did, he’d do the same. So I’m guessing that wasn’t addressed.
Clark only has a relationship with one of three. And the one doesn’t have a relationship with the other two or anyone else. But it’s the vaginas. That’s the problem. 👌🏼
I’m so proud of you! The courage that it takes to speak your real authentic truth is *so hard* and here you are killing it! 🥰 I know little Meredith is so proud of you too! ❤️
I have someone in my life that thinks, “I am sorry that you feel that I…” is an earnest apology. Glad you are writing not only the ending, but the whole dang story yourself, it is your story to write.
Well, you just changed my breathing pattern. I was in the room when you came in “ screaming”, and I thought it was an awesome announcement. I thought everyone in the room felt that “ voice”.
You were awesome. You are!!
I think my breathing changed because I knew some , but “ control “ took you away, and I got “ labels” too. People who can’t be “ controlled ” usually do.
Your voice is breathtaking. Thank you for sharing. It gives affirmation to others being silenced to make enough room for someone’s rage that has absolutely nothing to do with them.
Short of the physical abuse, this is again SO familiar to me and my kids. I’m deeply sorry for the trauma you and your Mom and sister have experienced, and especially the narrative of you being difficult (meaning all your fault). Our abuse was verbal, mental and financial. I recognize the traits of a narcissist after many years of immersing myself in the details of it. My kids have had to stop expecting something from their “Clark” that he is incapable of giving. Understanding narcissism has been crucial to our healing. Not the narcissism that people throw around like selfishness in every day conversation. It goes so much deeper than that.
At least you know and choose to write your own ending (no doubt and hopefully a long one). The majority of us seem to doddle to the end not realizing our circular scribbles and scruples. Your honesty and clarity reminds: look deeper, we can grow out of denial and heal, even if we are left with Jacob's limp.
I hate that I understand this. I love that you now know your worth is not dependent on anyone’s assessments of you. These type people genuinely believe they’re good. They rewrite every story, dodge every consequence, and carry zero accountability. In their minds, they’ve never hurt anyone and somehow everyone else is to blame. It’s delusion at it’s finest. We can’t understand it because we are not them. I, for one, am grateful that I’ve never understood the Clarks and Spokespersons in my family bc I feel like to fully understand them, I’d have to be like them-if even in a small way. I’ll choose peace over understanding any day.
I’m sorry you’ve been taken down a path no daughter would choose. You do have a voice and it matters. What was done to you was not your fault but what you do with it is your choice.
Keep writing your ending. I believe it’s gonna be a happy one.❣️
They taught me something. You’ll hear both proclaiming to be a good guy, reminding everyone they’re a nice guy.
With some age, I realized that good guys don’t have to convince you or remind you by telling you. They’re just good and do good things, take accountability when they mess up and try to do better.
When I hear a male voice say, “Look, I’m a good guy,” you’ll find me halfway down the street. 🚩
May he have the life he deserves.
And may you, as well. 💜
I’m very thankful to have a life, separate… well, as separate as it can get lol, that I love very much.
❤️I have no words. Keep healing through your writing. 😘
Man, they may have had you in mind when they coined the phrase, "The pen is mightier than the sword." Well said, Mere. You don't need me to tell you how insightful and engaging your writing is, but I WILL say that the "taboo" subject matter you write about is so needed. So many of us were taught not to talk about ANYTHING. Look where it's gotten us.
And as a parent (which apparently makes me an expert), I (me, myself) carry the burden of the relationship with my kids. That's just how it is. After all, they learned how to HAVE a relationship from their parents. So if the relationship sucks, and I want to cast blame, I need to be looking in the mirror. And so should Clark. So glad that you and your mom have done the hard work to have a relationship as adults. It makes me happy.
P.S. Don't even get me started on the term "DIFFICULT." I want to go back and give little Meredith a big hug and tell her that she was just right.
I’m glad you were able to provide expert opinion here. Whew. 😅
I thought by now we could agree that no child should be pulled or thrown… at all, including into walls and down the stairs. But no. I often “forced their hand as parents” with my difficult behavior. Like sleep training, having emotions, and not wanting to go to my brother’s 127 baseball games every summer.
A few years ago, the clone said I deserved everything I got for having “too many emotional needs as a kid.” I called Clark then and told him he needed to correct that line of thinking. We can’t change what happened, but we can change what happens to the next generation.
But I was assured that should Spokesperson’s offspring behave the way I did, he’d do the same. So I’m guessing that wasn’t addressed.
Clark only has a relationship with one of three. And the one doesn’t have a relationship with the other two or anyone else. But it’s the vaginas. That’s the problem. 👌🏼
I’m so proud of you! The courage that it takes to speak your real authentic truth is *so hard* and here you are killing it! 🥰 I know little Meredith is so proud of you too! ❤️
🥹 thank you!
I have someone in my life that thinks, “I am sorry that you feel that I…” is an earnest apology. Glad you are writing not only the ending, but the whole dang story yourself, it is your story to write.
🙄 I about lost it when he said he was done apologizing. Well, you should start by actually apologizing once and let’s go from there.
Well, you just changed my breathing pattern. I was in the room when you came in “ screaming”, and I thought it was an awesome announcement. I thought everyone in the room felt that “ voice”.
You were awesome. You are!!
I think my breathing changed because I knew some , but “ control “ took you away, and I got “ labels” too. People who can’t be “ controlled ” usually do.
Your voice is breathtaking. Thank you for sharing. It gives affirmation to others being silenced to make enough room for someone’s rage that has absolutely nothing to do with them.
Short of the physical abuse, this is again SO familiar to me and my kids. I’m deeply sorry for the trauma you and your Mom and sister have experienced, and especially the narrative of you being difficult (meaning all your fault). Our abuse was verbal, mental and financial. I recognize the traits of a narcissist after many years of immersing myself in the details of it. My kids have had to stop expecting something from their “Clark” that he is incapable of giving. Understanding narcissism has been crucial to our healing. Not the narcissism that people throw around like selfishness in every day conversation. It goes so much deeper than that.
So much deeper 😢
At least you know and choose to write your own ending (no doubt and hopefully a long one). The majority of us seem to doddle to the end not realizing our circular scribbles and scruples. Your honesty and clarity reminds: look deeper, we can grow out of denial and heal, even if we are left with Jacob's limp.